poison pens the epicede (they sang a dirge)
by TenTenD
Summary: In her halls the Queen of Strife sang to her Dark Lord the sad songs of withering life. And it pleased him to crown her his in the descending darkness, and have her ebon throne next to his. He'd ripped her apart and put her back together, and she spiraled with him down into madness, for his will was poison.
1. Chapter 1

i

Hëdwig of House Haleth had bled herself dry in giving him the child. He looked upon the babe, whining softly, and his lips curled inwardly. He looked like his mother, dark haired, with the same small face, more oval than round. Frail limbs kicked about. "Take him away."

Edging to her bed, he ignored the bloody sheets and the coolness of her skin. He took her hand in his. Mairon had loved her briefly before coming into his true power. Her faer was trying to break away from her body. The tip of his tongue pushed against the teeth ridge in annoyance. Did she really think he would let her go now? After all this, she was more his than she'd been in the golden halls and sprawling field they'd travelled together.

Sauron bend down to her, his face hovering above Hëdwig's. The pale light of her life glowed weakly. He could feel her shallow breathing against his face. Silver-blonde against the dark of her brown tresses, bone straight and splashed on the pillow. Her empty eyes looked at him, their cold warmth, glassy and misted, and the utter darkness, the voice of earth so strong in them. Mairon had been fascinated by them, wide and trusting, as she'd melted into him all those moons ago. And that mouth, curved in an almost smile-grimace. That mouth that had whispered in his ear as he'd devoured her bit by bit, taking all those parts of her soul that she'd left unguarded. A slender neck, adorned with rows of pearls, white and gleaming, forming a shield of alabaster.

Bringing his fingers to the fragile strings Sauron considered his options. Then, with the grace of his kind, he picked one of the white pearls and pulled them savagely away from her. Thin lines of angry red decorated her neck. His hands lowered over her the faer that had started ascending from her breast, and he pushed it back ruthlessly. "You'll leave only when I give you permission to," he thundered, binding the spirits within the flesh with his dark magic. He would not accept this, their attempt to take what was his from him. "Only when I have tired of you may you depart." Fingers touched the warming flesh of her throat.

She opened her lips just a fraction, a curse no doubt. He'd missed the sight of her. Sauron allowed his hands to fall to her shoulders, then down her arms. Let her curse his name, let her thought be consumed by him, let her be possessed by him.

ii

_Once she'd been a foolish little girl who had fallen for sweet songs and bright eyes of starlight. Hëdwig opened her eyes, a river of abhorrence in her gaze. She'd love him once, and she loved him now, but she also hated him._

_For the touch of his hand upon her skin, leaving behind a desert, she hated him. For the kiss of his mouth to hers, tasting of blood, she hated him. But as much as she loathed him, she belonged to him, tendrils of darkness wrapping tighter and tighter around her, stopping any attempt at escape. _

_"You have no right," she hissed, her voice cracking. This should have been her defiance, to die in childbed. She could have gone far away, away from the clutch of his familiar, sickening fingers. She'd thought it would be enough to have him see her covered in blood, and broken, and dying for this jailor of hers to let go. It hadn't._

_"But I do," he replied easily, face still above hers. His lips touched hers, his hands took hers, fingers entwined. The dark magic in the tip of his fingers burned her. He seemed not to care. Rather than his body pressing down on hers it was his faer that anchored her to this prison of flesh and bones and raw emotions._

_"I hate you." And the poison in her soul was slowly spreading to every corner, every extremity, every crevice filled to the point of refuse. That angelic face, and cold eyes, and wicked, wicked mouth. She hated all of him, this beast who had tricked her into becoming his. He'd forced his admiration of her little by little, day by day, until she cracked and broke and gave in._

_Even now she could feel the gaping wound inside of her. He'd taken away everything, stripping her to the crude structure, the primordial essence of herself. That he'd held into the palm of his hands, and when she'd trusted him, his hand formed as fist and made her prisoner. "I hate you."_

_"I know." He watched her as if it mattered not at all what she felt. And perhaps it didn't. Not to him who had in his grasp. Threadbare, her heart accepted his touch as it had always done. This despicable fiend. "I know you do." And then he let go. _

_Because she knew he'd come again, Hëdwig didn't dare hope. _


	2. Chapter 2

iii

_Each night he found his way between her sheets, a serpent slithering in those small fissures of her soul. Hëdwig lay cold and unmoving. At night her life would try to pull out of her shell, and she sat there hoping that this time it would succeed. But then he'd fill those empty nooks and crannies within the thick darkness. He shone like a treacherous angel, golden and beautiful, and he still tasted of forgotten spring slowly mingling with winter. Like a habit, she would close her eyes and murmur a distant name, the one she'd kept in her heart._

_Always, always his ire would come upon her like lava gushing from the erupting volcano. His touch lost the care as dug into yielding flesh. She opened her eyes to a raging storm, and simply moved her gaze to the ceiling. That chasm between them would fill and fill and fill, until his teeth bit into her, so close to the clavicle. He was almost a demon then, with her blood on his lips, and his eyes glowing menacingly. He forgave her nothing, of course._

_Bones shaking, skin burning, Hëdwig faced the oncoming attack even as she felt a rip inside herself. A breach was all he needed to come back to that deceptively attentive lover. Fingers relaxed around her and proceeded to trace the smooth surface of abused skin. "Why do you continue calling me that?" his voice was a growl in her ear._

_"It was not you I called," she answered, knowing fully well she'd bring back the wrath. She let him think it was not his touch she'd felt. Her mind was assaulted by his, a spear through her carefully erected walls, as he searched for traces of his former self, tearing through every memory of them. Hëdwig didn't care much for those. They'd been lies and to see them corrupted hurt her none. _

_"Let him go," Sauron urged. "Forget everything about him." Why it bothered him to have her think of memories she didn't know or care to know. _

_Her smile, a thin stretch of pale lips, was his reply. Cool arms wrapped around him, Hëdwig pulled herself up against Sauron, until her lips were near his ear. "You cannot take what is mine." And she fell back to the bed with his angry shove, barely aware that the babe had started crying. Hëdwig laughed at his rage and at her own misery._

iv

That very fine line between what he was and what he had become, when on her lips and in her thoughts drove him mad. She shouldn't have dared compare Mairon to Sauron, but she did. Every time she did, until his desire turned to ashes, and he craved destruction. He could crush her, grind her bones to powder or break her mind apart. But she was void even now, what good could it do to pull even more of her away.

Wails from the cradle distracted him. Sauron walked to the crib and picked that tiny remnant of affection up. Hëdwig shifted behind him, and he turned slowly. Her distrustful stare amused him. "I could kill him if I wanted to."

"Do you want to?" He placed the bundle in her arms, watching it latch onto her and suck greedily. Her devotion to the babe wasn't surprising, her heart had always been tender. Foolish woman, Sauron considered. And yet, he had no intention of letting her go. If that meant allowing her to keep the child, then Suron would do it. After all, the boy was as much his as he was hers.

"I sired him," Suron reminded her softly. "This we share." It had never been enough for him to have only a part, he wanted the whole; the whole world, the whole of Hëdwig. And he was patient, he would take her one piece at a time.

They had forever.


	3. Chapter 3

v

"Drink deep from the cup of sorrows," the dark voice whispered in her ear. Hëdwig followed the instructions bringing the cold rim to her lips and drawing inside her mouth all that it had to offer. Bitter ash, and sour broken dreams she tasted on her tongue. "Aye, child. Don't spill a single drop of it. Good, good."

It was some sort of poison she reckoned. If it killed her, then she would be truly grateful. Alas, shed knew that at best it would make her sick. Somehow Suron's magic protected her, embedded into her blood, flesh and bones. She hated him for not allowing her even this small mercy. "Where is my son?" she asked the crone, throwing the goblet to the ground. Dark eyes darkened even more.

"He sleeps, he does." The assurance seemed to displease the mother. "The lad is but a babe still. He sleeps as he should. No need to fret, m'lady. Aye, no need. His sire shan't allow anything to touch him."

"Away with you," Hëdwig commanded. That had been exactly what she'd worried about, that Sauron would actually take an interest into the raising of his child. She had to rescue her son from whatever plot his father weaved.

Standing from her seat, the woman crossed her rooms to the doors and flung them open. She glided down the narrow paths, avoiding the light out of instinct. It hurt when the moonbeams caressed her skin or when the sun touched her hair. It burned. He'd turned her into some sort of monster, and the only shred of humanity left was her son. She couldn't allow him to be tainted as well. "Valar be good! He is the only thing I have left," she whispered to the emptiness which greeted her as she went.

Servants of the dark fled out of her way, for a reason unknown to her. Hëdwig enjoyed it though, the fear she could evoke. If only Sauron would cower before her so. In her dreams she always sprouted wings and flew far away, awa into the light to be mercilessly burned until she was nothing but ash. And her sweet babe was with her too. But he survived, he always did.

"One day I shall be free of his curse." Or so she would have liked to believe if it were possible to break from Suron's grasp. One day was still too far for her to see.

_vi _

_Mairon would have wrapped her in his arms and whispered her comfort and love. Sauron simply watched her walk upon the mist, eyes glazing over at the power she exuded. His followers hid round the corners at her approach and he laughed at the demons tucking tail and running away. He'd created her, this beautiful creature of smoke and darkness .He had sewn her soul into the trappings of her body so cleverly that not even the Valar would be able to pry it away. Aye, she would remain his for as long as Varda existed and beyond._

_The child in his arms kept quiet, breathing silently against his chest. He had expected the boy to screech at the top of his lungs when he realised he'd been taken from his mother, but he simply gurgled softly and ignored everything but a liver of light which he played with. Ah, but he did resemble Hëdwig closely. There was so little of Miron in the babe. Only around the mouth, thinner lips made for wry smirks. "When you are grown, you and I shall show to your mother the beauty in these dark stones." On her own she would never come to love this life, her knew._

_But for her child, Hëdwig would move mountains. And this child he held looked upon him with shrewd eyes. "You can understand, can you not?" Perhaps he did, by the way he struggled lightly. There was no fear in his dark orbs. He was too young for fear. Nay, no fear. "And you shall never have to feel it." He would grow a fierce warrior. _

_"Must you take the child without telling me?" Hëdwig chided, having finally found man and child. "I do not remember allowing such to happen."_

_"Allowing?" He took her anger with good humour. "Best you watch the words that come out of your mouth, lady."_

_"If I do not? Shall you kill me?" Her eyes glinted. She would welcome death._

_"Never," he told her sweetly. "You shall be by my side for all the ages. There are other ways to make you repent." And he would use each and every one of them if need be._

_Hëdwig grimaced. "When your end comes, I shall see it with joy." His glower only made her smile. She sat down next to him, reaching out for the child. "What shall you name him?" It was not her right to name the first-born._

_"Ash."  
_

* * *

A/N: "Ash" means "one" in the Dark Language._  
_


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